Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Moving On, Moving Up

School, school, school’s almost over. Thirteen years after I originally started college, one Associates degree, five majors, a decade of working at Barnes and Noble, and a multitude of personal dramas later, I will finally have my B.A. In creative writing.

That’s a very satisfying accomplishment. Yay me!

Then there’s that nagging little thought: the Now What?

I already have a sort-of plan in place that I’m hoping will work out…trying to think of alternatives in case it doesn’t. Mainly, my goal is to write and write and write. After all, the degree I earned was for writing, yes? Gotta put that stuff to work.

Still, it’s not an unstressful proposition. For so long I’ve worked toward one thing that the social world accepts fairly well: getting an education, a degree. Learning shit. To suddenly (and it does feel sudden) jump from that world into this new one where there’s no garuntee of success, and no real brass ring to grab hold of (after all, how does on define success for writing? Prizes? Getting paid? Finishing a sentence?) I feel groundless. And potentially spoiled, because how many other writers really get a chance to do that? So then there’s the pressure of producing, because all those other obstacles are now presumably removed.

Have you guys ever had that “Now what the hell do I do?” sensation? About what? How did you handle it?

5 comments:

  1. if i am ever indecisive about a given path or choice, i believe it avails me not to fall into lamentations of consternation, instead, i flip a coin and let the physics of probability decide my fate. as a writer myself, i have a philosophy that everything in life is written, including our fates. but that is just my humble opinion, i wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose to do. :-)

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  2. I have every confidence in you, my friend. And success in writing is being happy with what you're writing (reasonably, at least--we're all too hard on our own writing).

    There have been several "now what" moments in my life, including walking away from a marriage, graduating college (after 20 years btw), getting laid off. Each one was extremely scary--especially the layoff because that was not my choice. I worried, and made lists and ate comfort food.

    And survived. Usually thrived. As will you.

    And stop worrying what other people might think. Those who love you are thrilled.

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  3. Thanks, guys!

    I also try to keep in mind the idea that if it feels scary, it's probably the right thing to do. Good change and whatnot. =)

    So what awesome thing has happened because of the "Now Whats?"/"Boy This is Scary Change?"

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  4. Let's see . . . I moved to Colorado, finished college and started writing again.

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